CLEVELAND INFORMS CHODE LEAGUE OF REVISED STRATEGY

In a press release Friday afternoon, the Cleveland Cavaliers informed CHODE LEAGUE that they are switching their team’s objectives next year from being the league’s chodiest team to “maybe winning a championship sometime.”

In a private interview, owner Dan Gilbert explained: “After winning the first pick in the draft three of the last four years, we pretty much choded out. It’s time to take on a new challenge: losing with LeBron James.”

“While hiring Mike Brown and drafting Anthony Bennett were fun choices, I think we’re probably ready to try to get smart. Of course, we could never be as perfectly neutral as Rahfin’s incredible Allie Hawks Akbar team…”

Truly remarkable.

“So just trying to win a championship is a reasonable compromise we think we can achieve.”

While the Cavaliers are looking to turn things around, Cleveland Mayor Frank G. Jackson announced today that the city of Cleveland plans to finally overtake Detroit and become the “chodiest city in the United States for the 2014-15 season.”

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