Franchise Acquisition

HEY everyone, and WELCOME to stage two: franchise acquisition. Let me explain, I won’t take more than five minutes of your vacay time this off-season.

And what a long off-season it’s turning out to be.

Don’t worry, we’re still drafting player-by-player in October. But this year, you gotta take on one of the thirty NBA franchises too.

Remember, if your franchise does something chodey, each loss during the previous month gives you a shot at receiving the FRANCHISE CURSE (+100 Chode Points/week for a month). That’s biiig money.

So, are you after a retard team capable of complete implosion? Or a smart team that consistently stays out of trouble? The choice, as always, is yours.

We will be holding a team-by-team raffle. Here’s how it works:

  • All of you will still receive $200 in “draft money” to acquire players in the auction draft. Additionally, each of you will receive $200 in “team money,” which you can increase to $250 or $400 later. Team money is spent bidding on free agents during the year — and this year, putting in team bids.
  • Each $1 of team money you spend gives you one raffle slip for any team of your choice. Then, we draft team-by-team, starting with the most desired teams and moving on down.
  • In the event that you don’t win ownership of any of the teams you bid on, you will be randomly assigned a team. Hopefully this encourages you to really spread the wealth and invest in multiple teams.

And yes, I’ve already placed my bids in an envelope held by esteemed Judge Schubert. Rest easy knowing the sanctity of Chode League is assured. For reference, I bid $30 on four teams.

BUT the time to act is NOW. With 20 players and just 30 franchises, you don’t want to be left out in the cold.

Email me at your teams and how many slips you’d like to put into each one by Saturday, September 13 at 11:59 p.m central. The whole event will be videotaped on Sunday, September 14 and uploaded to youtube so that generations hence can see your Commissioner “accidentally” bending envelopes.

Much love you fuckers,
The Commissioner

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